My cats a critic and other adventures

My mind had been drawing a blank for months.  Everything seemed so foggy when I tried to write.  The words raced around my head, sprinted down towards my shoulder, engaged in a brisk jog over my elbow and then, just as they embarked on the finish line of my ball point pen, lost their motivation and squatted down for a quick nap in my forearm.  Oh, I just can't tolerate lazy words. 

Frankly, there were so many things I wanted to say but unlike some brilliant writers out there, I didn't have the courage to say them.  I'm the worry wart of creativity.  Always afraid of hurting someones feelings, or shocking the hell out of....well....grandma.  The truth might actually be, I've been afraid of exposing myself completely or being disappointed in the outcome.  All of these things, tussled into one big tumble weed, were the reasons I just wasn't able to get my thoughts on to paper. 

Whats so interesting about my situation is, so many things happened over the past few months worthy of writing about.  There was the birth of my new nephew who, from my assessment, might be the cutest tot to have ever been born.  He is fabulous and I couldn't be more in love with him.  Then there is my main squeeze, who's age, although much closer to the celebratory year of 100, still seems to amaze me with his giddy child like charm.  There was also the new discovery of half priced wine night at one of my favorite watering holes.  This exciting new development then lead to "ladies night"... gone wild of course.  This alone was enough material to write an entire novel.

Another adventure worthy of writing about began with a journal entry I had written on the eve of my 33rd birthday,"Do something that fulfills you".  So, after having stared at this simple line of dark devilish black ink for over a month I finally decided to either close my journal, shove it under my bed, forget the line completely and continue to live in my stale cereal boxed in life (there's no prize in here btw) OR start finding fulfillment.  So, your probably thinking I made a choice right then and there.  No, no i didn't.  I did what any normal 33 year old woman who is having a difficult time finding fulfillment would do, I distracted myself by washing dishes, watching bad TV, taking a walk, painting my nails and then taking a trip to The Body Shop.  Yeah, so after I got home from that waste of  a $20 face mask, I finally made my choice.  I kept my journal out, let go of my fear (You know that fear. That fear of being wrong?) and decided to find what makes me happy, find my fulfillment.

So there, on the dawn of a new day, with fulfillment on the brain and fear in the back seat buried under my design magazines and my face drenched in that damn $20 avocado "revitalizing" mask, I created something for me, just me, and my happiness.  I called it Networking Tuesdays. It's really a code word for hobby therapy.  I mean I have hobbies,  you know, those things that make you happy?  I just don't do anything with them.  As I sat in the planning phase of my happy new future, I told myself and my cat (who is a tough critic on goal setting and also different kinds of catnip), I WILL begin to enjoy the things that I, well, enjoy.  To do this,  I WILL embrace my hobbies.  I WILL embrace my interests.  I will find one evening a week to reach out to those around me who seem to enjoy life, the arts, those who embrace their own fulfillment.  I will listen and relish in their enthusiasm and devour their passion.  I will have drinks with them, talk about all the goodies that involve the arts, and just make some new friends. Who knew that by creating this wonderful oasis of "finding me", I would find more joy than I had in a long time?  Ok my cat did, but I sure didn't.

Oh what fun it has been.  I have met wonderful people.  Those involved in the arts.  Those that are fearless in fashion and use their bodies as a canvas. Those that relish in the world of design and enjoy the dizzy confusion yet brilliance of architecture.  Those who write with fierce passion and those who simply just love and attract people.  I have met the silly and eccentric, the quiet yet bold, the hidden gem and the boisterous innovator.  The humble, the sad, the hilarious and the passionate.  I have laughed and been inspired.  I have tasted wonderful meals, and been invited into beautiful homes.  I have received wonderful advice and found I have so much to learn but also, know more than I thought.  I have listened and been educated.  I have swallowed every morsel of artistic nirvana and allowed all the knowledge to dance merrily in my now joyful head.  The most brilliant thing of it all, my Tuesdays, is there are still so many more personalities, revelations, experiences and hobbies ahead.   

I now know this....my step is a bit more brisk, my smile a bit wider, my joy much deeper and my lazy words finally come out on paper.  I can't say that I have fixed myself, but by god I have made some improvements.  Here's to my 33rd year.  To the ever changing, ever improving (if you work at it) human experience.  A topic always worth writing about.