Technicolor Dreamcoat

"We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be.”
— Anne Lamott

I am an individual.  I am unique.  I am me.  These words, these phrases, so easy to put on paper, but to actually mean them is difficult.  It's funny, looking back and reflecting on myself as a young child, I never put much thought into "being different", and trying desperately to have a sense of individualism.  I was just me, a young, fun, light hearted kid who loved to talk and socialize.  And then, as time moved forward, I, along with most children my age, became much more conscious of who I was, where I stood, what I looked like, what I believed.  These thoughts, all part of growing and being, can be taken in so many different directions.  Some children, take these thoughts, move into their natural process of getting older and cozy up easily to it.  Like a perfect puzzle piece, nestling in right next to where it belongs.  Although they think about where they stand and who they are, it's not something that consumes them, it just happens naturally.  Unfortuantely, for me, it hasn't happened that way. Why?  Well, I will admit, yes, I am a free spirit, and taking on that role tends to lead to a bit of chaos and jumbled direction.  I will also admit that my decision making on occasion can be a bit....hmmm how do you say it......reactionary???  Aka.....I might, just might, not always think through things before I do them.  Now, with this being said, I personally feel that these qualities are good, bad and a little in between.  The good is, I have lived.  I truly have.  I look back on the people I have met, the places I have lived, visited, i'm proud of it.  I'm proud of the life i've seen, the beauty, i'm even proud of the lonlienss I have felt while out there.  I know it defined me.  But then, there comes the bad with that gypsy soul of mine.  I am never satisfied.  I am in a constant state of what can I do, where can I go, what can I see, who can I be??  You could characterize these questions as a person feeling extremely lost, with no solid base, no where to call themselves "just me".  I realize this about myself.  I know that the search for who I am, where I stand, what defines me will be a on going battle, probably for my entire life.  I realize, as many have, who suffer from this form of wanderlust, to take this search in stride.  Take time to figure out what turns me on, what makes me feel.  Taking time is difficult for the dreamer.  We see, there for we are, and unfortunatley seeing and patiently waiting, thinking, evaluating can seem so stagnent.  I know it's what I need to do, and what I have been doing.  But, in this beautiful life, I must find my passion.  Find me.  Turn it in to a career.  Take ownership of my dream. I love the creative aspect of this world and what individuals can do with it.  How exciting isn't it?  I ask you, have you ever just sat back and thought about all the creativity that circulates in this world?  All the magnificent ideas in their different forms.  It's a phenomenon that i still have trouble wrapping my head around.  I want to be a part of it.  Find myself in it, and eventually live it.  I hope hope I can.  I know "me" is there.  I know I am truly starting to find myself, my individual, my "I".  Thanks for reading this mumbo jumbo.

Now, time for some color inspiration and a few people who seem to have found their own individual, fabulous, creative selves.


Rachel Roy's Bedroom - House Beautiful 11/10



Photo by Isabella Rodriguez


Carolyn Murphy's Home - House and Garden 8/07


Ellen Pompeo's Kitchen - Elle Decor 11/10


Laura Jean Kathleen

Gray walls and Gusts of wind.

I've had this dream.  It's reoccurring.  The best way to describe it is a gust of wind, blowing in circles, twisting and twirling images, thoughts, ideas, passion, creativity to and from, which way and that.  It's a beautiful color this dream, for as radical and chaotic, it calms me.  Like any one's ideas and dreams, at times, it is more prevalent than others.....today it is a tornado.  My dream is to have a business.  To own something.  Something creative.  Something that would speak to me, to the public, to anyone and everyone.  I have imagined the space.  I've imagined deep gray walls and long shelves holding pieces of pottery, vases, pillows and bed linens.  I have pictured the wooden tables allowing photography and design books to be mis matched and stacked high.  I have pictured my sister and uncles paintings on the walls and other talented local artists.  I have pictured old  glass cases showcasing my friends jewelry that I love so much.  I see lamps with patterned shades and curtains with boho chic prints dripping off the walls like honey.  Thoughts of consumers, my consumers, walking over Hyde rugs and holding up of one of kind dishes to picture their table scapes.  I hear old vinyl records of artists like Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell and Led Zeppelin echoing off those gorgeous gray walls.  And I have pictured myself, standing in the midst of it all,.....happy.

Now, for some gray wall inspiration I found.......

Today is an Eloise kind of day

"Think Pink.  A better way of life." - Eloise at the Plaza



Thoughts and Atticus Finch.

Since beginning my new blogging adventure a few weeks ago I have now become extremely curious and conscious of other people's blogs.  I find it fascinating that my initial idea to blog was to curb my hours of monotonous facebook stalking day after day.  I felt a blog would be more creatively conducive for me, for my sanity and let's be honest, my soul.  But now, my dear followers, I must confess a new obsession.... blog stalking.  I know, I know, I thought I had finally started to dig myself out of the black hole that is facebook, sucking us farther and farther in with each friend request or new picture post, but oh no, the black hole blogging has now begun. 
I will say though, my stalking has become a bit more productive since it is truly a search for inspiration as opposed to reading posts about people's mood, their dog, their errands, their dinner and the ever so popular my baby did this today......SO with that being said, with my new blog stalking hobby, I have truly become inspired.  So thank you dear blogging friends. My research has now allowed me to revisit a world of possibility that might not have been so colorful before.  I am finding how much I do enjoy feeling inspired and how lucky I am to live on a planet with so many people who see art, creativity and well...life in so many fabulously different ways. I love that I am reminded of that now.
I am also realizing how important it is for me to start discovering my creative self again.  In my discovering I am hopeful that I can learn to paint a story, photograph a feeling, write a picture, sculpt an idea or give life to a room.  Thanks for reading.

Like an old brown comfy leather chair..... 

This is worth watching.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5NgG5koPZU

Heart and Soul.

Rambling.

  At first, to me, blogging feels like your talking to someone in a coma.  Just laying there, eyes closed, and you are asking yourself...are they listening or am I really just talking to myself?  Are they comforted or am I just comforting myself?  Now, these feelings might also be validated by the fact that I have only ONE follower and no, it's not my mom or dad (nice try, i'm not a complete blogging disappointment that only my family would take an interest in my new project alright?)....ok fine, it's my sister.
So, with all that rambling being said, dear followers...er follower.... who is or is not reading.....you will find one of my favorite inspirations in personal style below. 

Cat Power. Cat Power. Cat Power.  I love her.  I love that she is a jeans and t-shirts girl with an edge.  She makes simple style so powerful and present.  Her jewelry is flawless.  And that voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj8oneHUjus